Reticent

One

A gentle breeze swept by, shaking the yellow flowers by the window until one finally fell. Lang Xue witnessed this the moment she opened her eyes, and a wave of emotion suddenly washed over her.

Perhaps it was the breeze stirring again, causing last night's yellow blossoms to fall. Startled from her dream, she pushed open the window to find hazy tree shadows and the first, tentative warmth of the sun. In the distance, bells chimed faintly beyond the green hills, and the red wall held the clatter of ceramic tiles and clay pots, punctuated by the occasional bark of a dog and crow of a rooster.

Voices clamored, parasol trees rustled. She recalled yesterday's perfect quiet. Her eyes, misty upon waking, were hard to clear. Tossing and turning, she had yearned for the red sun, and now today's fine morning had arrived, bringing with it a buzz of talk. Picking up a fallen leaf, she wondered, must gain always be accompanied by loss?

Setting down her brush, Lang Xue stretched and basked in the warm sunlight streaming through the window. It was a rare sunny day, though its charm was somewhat diminished by the noisy commotion from beyond the wall.

She sat by the window, resting her chin on her hand, lost in a daze, her thoughts still hazy. After a while, she moved back to sit on the bed. Only when the voices outside faded did she finally find a moment of peace.

The sound of light, familiar footsteps approached from outside the door. She knew it must be Lu'er coming to wake her.

The door opened, and a lovely girl with her hair tied in two round buns stepped over the threshold, carrying a basin of hot water and beaming. She came forward to attend to her. Lang Xue obediently followed her lead, washing her hands and face. After the morning toilet, she began the process of grooming and making herself up. Although it was a bit troublesome, the long, unhurried days had gradually accustomed her to this rhythm of life.

She wasn't one for much talking. She sat quietly before the mirror, letting Lu'er arrange her hair. Soon, she was dressed and looking pretty. It was a shame, though, that after years of use, the ancient bronze mirror no longer showed her reflection very clearly.

Lang Xue gave Lu'er a small smile, then rose and headed out to pay her morning respects to her father and mother.

Looking at the young, innocent face of Lang Xue, one would never guess the astonishing secret she held inside. In her previous life, she had been a modern person living in the 21st century. Overwhelmed by the burdens of life and sinking into depression, she had made a terrible choice one fateful morning.

However, being reborn as Lang Xue was something she had never expected. She initially thought it was a punishment from 'Heaven'. But now, with her healthy body and mind, her loving parents, and an elder brother who doted on her, as time passed, she gradually forgot the chaotic misery of her former life.

Lang Xue had believed her current life would continue to be plain yet happy. But now, a new worry had descended upon her.

Two

During the rainy season, the weather was perpetually fickle. This instability unsettled Lang Xue's emotions, bringing many old memories to the surface. Most of the time, she was reluctant to dwell too much on her past life.

In her childhood, her parents had been overly controlling, interfering heavily in both her life and studies. The resulting stress caused severe hair loss, which led to her being ostracized in class.

By the time she finally reached high school, she excelled academically and was valued by her teachers. Yet, her parents, burdened by their own high expectations and so-called worries, would criticize her for being withdrawn, forcing her to open up and make so-called friends.

Then came her working years. No matter how diligently and seriously she worked, her quiet nature destined her to be overlooked. True friends were even harder to find. In the end, she trapped herself in a prison of her own making.

Time never brought her relief; instead, it daily plunged her deeper into endless suffering. She had thought rebirth would offer her a different world, but now, hardship was upon her once more. By nature, she was someone who preferred to hide. These past few days, she had confined herself to her room, growing more and more unwilling to go out.

Sitting by the window, watching the wind and rain, the wilting flowers and battered grass, Lang Xue's heart grew increasingly desolate.

In just a few short days, three different matchmakers had already come to call. Her parents and elder brother were all smiles every day, clearly finding it an honor and a source of satisfaction that they could arrange such a good marriage for her.

Marriage and becoming a wife were the fate of women in ancient times. Lang Xue should have accepted this long ago and thought she could naturally find contentment in it. Yet, when truly faced with it, she finally understood the powerlessness of having no choice.

As a modern person, she should fight for her own fate. But how could she possibly fight?

"Not good with words"—this was the most straightforward judgment her parents and family passed on her. It seemed she could never escape this nightmarish label, not in her past life nor in this one.

Though it had plagued her across two lifetimes, she still immersed herself in the quiet world of few words. After all, the world had so many eloquent people; it never lacked one like her...

The marriage was quickly arranged through her elder brother's vigorous efforts. The man was a relative of her brother's good friend, said to be somewhat wealthier and more influential than her own family.

No wonder her father and brother were so overjoyed on the wedding day, chatting animatedly with the guests. Only her mother held her, weeping bitterly.

Lang Xue couldn't quite describe her own feelings. She had only caught two fleeting glimpses of the groom during the formal meeting. He looked decent enough, but what kind of person he was—without time, how could one ever know?

She didn't know a single soul in her husband's family. Fortunately, her mother had sent Lu'er along as her attendant, so at least she had someone familiar by her side.

Seated in the bridal sedan, Lang Xue pressed a hand to her chest, feeling an inexplicable tightness there. The corners of her eyes also grew sore.

The moment the gongs and drums sounded, the sedan swayed slightly. Startled, Lang Xue gripped its sides. Looking back, the small curtain at the rear fluttered open. In the distance, the familiar high gate and lintel of her home grew lower and lower.

A cold wind blew, chilling Lang Xue's face. She straightened her posture, ready to face the next chapter of her life.

Three

What was marriage? She had never experienced it in her past life and had no wisdom to draw from. So, Lang Xue's debut as a wife was far from smooth.

Her husband—the man one called 'husband' in this era—clearly did not fancy her much. From the start, he was unwilling to come to her room, and later, he grew reluctant to even return home.

Lang Xue herself was unbothered; she welcomed the peace and quiet. Dealing with another person was exhausting, after all. But while she could be indifferent, others would not tolerate it.

At first, her mother-in-law and aunts were relatively polite. As time passed, seeing that Lang Xue failed to win her husband's affection, they began to blame her entirely. They thought it was her fault for being quiet and withdrawn, for not knowing how to please others. Their words sounded so familiar, just like in her past life.

With her temperament, she simply lacked the energy for lengthy explanations.

Initially, her father-in-law was fair, but as his son stayed away from home more often, he too gradually sided with those who blamed her.

As for that so-called husband, she had held no expectations for him since her previous life. Why would she care in this one?

Lu'er often said she should make more effort, that she should visit her parents-in-law and her husband more often to inquire after their well-being.

To be honest, Lang Xue had tried. But every time she sat with them, they would end up in silence.

They found her dull; she found the strain of making conversation tiresome. Gradually, neither side wished to see much of the other. At most, she would pay her morning respects, and when others were present, she would wait quietly to the side, doing what was expected.

Yet, from her past life to this one, she never understood: she tried so hard, so earnestly, and did everything she was supposed to do. Why did she never receive praise or favor?

As time went on, facing her in-laws and sisters-in-law whose attitudes grew increasingly harsh, Lang Xue's heart gradually turned cold. She simply became a wooden figure, doing whatever she was told and refusing to meddle in unnecessary affairs.

Even though Lu'er often felt indignant on her behalf for being too submissive, Lang Xue still couldn't muster the spirit to fight back. Only occasionally would she wonder if, as someone with a modern soul, she was living too spinelessly.

Four

That year, the snow came exceptionally early. The entire courtyard was already a vast expanse of white, and the withered, yellow branches, though looking quite frail, still stood tall against the wind.

Lu'er ordered the servants to hang heavy curtains around the pavilion to block the cold wind. Lang Xue stood inside, holding a warm hand warmer, gazing at the pale whiteness outside. A bit of comfort seemed to settle in her heart.

Shortly after their marriage, her husband brought a woman back from outside. Later, her parents-in-law, displeased that she hadn't borne any children, welcomed another young lady into the household. Within a few years, several concubine-born sons and daughters were born.

Although her sister-in-law was married off, she lived nearby and frequently visited her family home.

So, gradually, the house became bustling with activity, and with it came a great deal of quarrels and trouble. From morning till night, perhaps only brief moments of peace could be found.

However, Lang Xue wasn't too afraid. For one, her father and brother had risen steadily in rank over the past two years; having such a strong natal family gave her some confidence. For another, although she wasn't eloquent, she was extremely meticulous in her work and had earned a fairly good reputation.

Apart from not producing an heir, she had committed no other faults. Besides, with a house full of concubine-born children now, there was no lack of offspring. The matter had long been resolved by taking two of them under her name to raise.

And unlike the novels and TV shows from her previous life, as the legitimate wife and mistress of the household, she had absolute authority over all domestic matters. Concubines, no matter their status, could only talk big; in reality, they didn't dare truly provoke Lang Xue, for if she decided to discipline them, no one could say a word against it.

But she also didn't wish to make things difficult for them. Why bother? For the sake of a man she didn't like and who didn't like her, to make things hard for fellow women? That wasn't something she, a woman with a modern soul, should do.

It was just that they were so noisy, constantly appearing before her eyes, and whenever disputes arose, she always had to be the judge. Sometimes she wished the days would pass faster, so she could endure until the concubine-born sons grew up, took wives, and she could hand over the household management.

Yet other times, she would question: was this life truly to be muddled through like this, so aimlessly?

Life seemed inherently contradictory. Just like in her past life, she studied and worked hard every day, but simply because she wasn't talkative and was considered a bit slow, she never received a single word of praise. Even her own parents, when mentioning her, mostly criticized her.

In this life, she simply decided to remain silent to the end, quietly neither contending nor snatching. As for tasks, she did only what she was told, unwilling to bother with more. Apart from the initial period after marriage when she was somewhat unwelcomed, things had actually been going quite smoothly.

Five

A lifetime seems immensely long, but when one truly reaches the end, one realizes it all flashed by in an instant. Memories in the mind become like clouds in the sky—ethereal and insubstantial.

Lang Xue, her hair fully white, lay ill in bed. The skin around her eyes was wrinkled beyond recognition, and when she opened them, her vision was hazy and unclear.

Kneeling by her bedside, keeping her company, was Lu'er, who had hurried over. The lively, cheerful girl had spent nearly half her life alongside this quiet woman, yet after Lu'er married, they hadn't seen each other for many years.

To have Lu'er visit her before the end, Lang Xue was already immensely comforted.

Her parents had passed away many years ago, and after her brother was promoted and moved to the capital, he never returned.

As for the rest of the family, they shared no blood relation with her anyway. Even a sliver of genuine affection from them was already more than she could ask for.

In the final moment before her eyes closed, a passage suddenly surfaced in her mind.

Tossed by wind and rain, I wither and fall; loving nothing in this life, I find joy alone. Few in words, I incur little blame; harboring resentment, I end up losing all. Heaven's grace is vast, offering choices; yet aimless and unsettled, my heart drifts without a home.

So, on that day, when "Heaven" made rebirth her punishment for abandoning life, it meant to tell her: the error lay not in her silence, but in her heart. Having realized this, Lang Xue finally closed her eyes.

Any regrets? Standing at the crossroads of life and death, looking back, Lang Xue ultimately offered no answer to that question.

Silence, silence—it is the righteous path! To cease strife, to refuse inquiry—that is correct!